Canadian Parenting

Independence

I mentioned before that Canadian parents encourage independence in their children. Often that involves providing children with opportunities to make decisions, take on responsibilities and learn from their experiences. I noticed that parents in Canada are putting a lot of effort in teaching their kids useful life skills and preparing them for

independent life.

Young children are allowed to choose their clothes, given time to dress themselves, feed themselves, explore, be active, do risky and messy play. Older children get, they are given age-appropriate tasks and chores around the house. Children clean, make their breakfast and lunches, do their laundry etc.

In Canada, its common to see parents running errands with their children. Even young babies are sitting quietly in their car seats attached to shopping carts while their parents are doing grocery shopping.

Many parents teach their children value of money and hard work by paying them for the chores they do. Chores include yard work like mowing the loan, shoveling snow off the sidewalk, cleaning the house etc.

Children are encouraged to earn money by doing this type of work for neighbors as well which develops early entrepreneurial skills. It’s common to see young children knocking on your door and asking if you need help mowing the loan in summer or shoveling snow in winter. Parents also lead by example. They like to take care of their homes as it’s a way of keeping yourself active.

Petting zoo in Sexsmith, Alberta

Children are encouraged to express themselves, pursue their own goals, and make decisions based on their personal preference and values. Individualism is often emphasized, focusing on development of child’s unique identity, talents, and interests.

Canadian parents don’t force their children to go to university or college after they finish school. As Canadians get older, they decide themselves whether they want to go to college, university or have a break and try working first. There is no timeline or pressure.  Everybody can do things when they are ready and can figure what they want before committing to something in life. Whether its marriage, education, lifestyle, or anything else, parents allow their kids to decide their future.

 Canadian parents don’t like power struggles and don’t force their children to obey or do things the way the parents want. They also encourage their children to solve problems on their own and give them more freedom as they demonstrate maturity and responsibility.

One way I noticed Canadians teach their kids to be independent is through Sports. I think children learn a lot of resilience and self discipline through sports. (Resilience is the ability to cope with stress and challenges in life).  Parents support their kids in playing different type of sports through their school years. They also volunteer by training sport teams, fundraising and doing organization work.

Hockey

Usually, Canadians grow up more independent and are ready to move out of their parent’s home around the age of 18. I heard in some families if children decide not to move out of their parents’ home and pursue education, they are encouraged to find a job and pay some rent to their parents and pay for their own bills. A lot of children in the eastern cultures don’t grow up as independent as Canadian children. Main reason for that is prevalence of authoritarian and hyper parenting (helicopter parenting) in eastern cultures.

Majority of Canadian parents I met practice positive and/or gentle parenting. For practicing these parenting methods, it is important to learn how to emphasize with children. Turning your attention towards your children, developing active listening, and understanding skills is not easy especially if you haven’t been around children much. Positive parenting and Gentle parenting are not the same as permissive parenting. Practicing gentle and positive parenting doesn’t mean you allow you kids everything they want the minute they want.

There are lots of ways to hold your boundaries with children without it turning into permissive or authoritarian parenting. As in everything else in life, parenting is a balance game as well. Is parenting perfect in Canada? Sure not. Does every parent practice only gentle and positive parenting? Sure, not. However, parents in the west seem to have more practice, knowledge, and wisdom on raising happy children. 

Grande Prairie, Alberta